A Brief Introduction from the Founder

Allow me to introduce myself – my name is Karen Hellman, a 9/11 survivor who was diagnosed with COPD in 2017. If you’re wondering how I went from survivor to the Founder of Peaceful Warrior Rising, here’s my story. 

I started my life over in 1999 because I called off my wedding. My head was spinning – so many people to call.  Adrenaline and shock have a wild impact on the mind and body. I vaguely remembered sorting out who would call the photographer, catering hall, trash the invitations, call off the bridal shower – which was scheduled that upcoming weekend and all the incidentals that came along with planning a wedding. I didn’t see it coming, but thankfully I had the guts do it. When I share the story, people always say – “you were so brave, I wish I had the courage to walk away instead of walking down the aisle”. Brave is not a word I would have used to describe myself in the past. But now, I’d describe myself as a WARRIOR.

The next 7 months were a blur until one day I busted out of the emotional funk. I needed a vacation. No friends were available. Everyone was either getting engaged, saving for a wedding, buying a house, having a baby, didn’t have a passport or couldn’t get time off from work. I went to the travel agent, who was holding a plane ticket in my name – it was from what was supposed to be a honeymoon trip to Italy – and I booked a singles trip to Italy for myself. WOOHOO! This trip ignited my passion for traveling solo – it was the first of many singles trips.

It was time for a fresh start – so I moved to a beach town later that year, on Long Island. Living by the ocean, lots of single people – just like myself, a great social life, new friends, played beach volleyball, bar hopping, lots of beach time – I was in a good place and having the time of my life!

I was ready for the next phase – approaching my 30’s – time to start building – marriage, children, career, purchase a home, vacations and of course, a dog.

My dreams were to travel. A LOT. I imagined a few big annual trips abroad, exploring the US and bouncing all over Europe with my best girlfriends – and I have a lot of them – and the other trips with my future husband and soulmate.

All those dreams crushed. On a beautiful, warm Tuesday morning. Life changed forever.

My old fun life, gone. Poof… like it never existed.

9/11 broke me.

Except for the fragmented memories and visions walking through NYC to get back to Long Island, I have no memory of the 8 years that followed. My brain blocked it out, with good reason. I was in shock, traumatized, my nervous system frozen in the fight-flight-freeze response.

Within two weeks I was at a psychiatrist’s office for a cocktail of medications to deal with the all-consuming effects of PTSD, depression, anxiety and sleep issues. After three years, I felt zombie-like, numb and desensitized so I made the decision to stop. No more pills. It was time to feel my feelings.  Uggh!!! There was no roadmap for what was about to unfold.

Two 9/11 support groups. Individual therapy. Ineffective and a very expensive holistic doctor pushing useless private label supplements. Desperate for answers, I saw a doctor trained in Eastern and Western Medicine who told me he felt the multitude of physical health issues I was suffering with were emotional, not physical. The severe trauma caused a physiological chain reaction which affected my nervous system that resulted in physical issues. WAIT!! WHATTTT?!?

His recommendation – he gave me the number of a woman who did past life readings. Never had one but I was desperate, so I went. Yes, I know – it’s WOOWOO.  Did it heal anything? No. Did it give me insight? Yes.

My beloved chiropractor, who always thinks outside the box had been making the mind-body-spirit connections for two years prior but I was too stubborn to recognize it. I was shut down and looking for her to fix me and my health issues. My traumas were HEAVY and complex – and I didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it.

So many questions. I wondered if it was possible what I witnessed and experienced impacted my mind so much that it caused health issues that appeared as physical symptoms? I never made the mind-body connection. In my mind they were basically two different businesses – each functioning on their own, solo offices but housed in the same building.

Where does a person learn about the mind-body connection?  Sure, there were yoga studios and places like Omega Institute or Kripalu 25 years ago but these places weren’t in my orbit back then.

In 2008 while still in the depths of darkness, I was introduced to a Buddhist practice where I was told I could chant for anything. Inner peace sounded good, since I didn’t have any… Figured I would try for it to see if it actually worked. Surprisingly it did, I felt less angry, chanting a few minutes daily. No one knew what I was doing, but colleagues and family noticed, some even commented I seemed happier. Me, happy? No way!! I couldn’t explain it but I didn’t need further convincing – something mystical was happening – and it was pretty freaking cool!

Reiki, a Japanese form of energy healing, entered my life due to a physical injury while I attended a retreat. I was not familiar with it but my foot was throbbing – so why not?! My roommate offered Reiki and in less than 24 it was gone, I was walking without issue and I was hooked! Soon after returning home, I became certified. The certifications and trainings continued, and I eventually launched: spiritualwarriorwoman.com

The goal was to heal and I had no idea what it would look like but – I was all in!

It was time to expand my thinking.

I explored Energy Medicine, Trauma Informed Somatic work, Shamanic healing, Myofascial Release and other forms of bodywork – because I felt broken and misunderstood. I wanted connection. I craved to let go of the negativity. I wanted to feel whole again. I began attending all kinds of classes for deeper understanding, clarity and empowerment. It was time to expand my knowledge to make myself well again – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I fought hard for my life. To change my thoughts. To clear my mind. To find self-compassion. To be OK with surviving 9/11. To find a sense of peace. To find acceptance for myself and my life. To recreate a life for myself. To understand what happened to my body. I needed answers.

What did I learn?

• I gained wisdom.

• I forged new deep, meaningful friendships.

• I poured into myself the love I never received.

• I cried. I laughed. I danced. I set boundaries. I released negative emotions.

• I learned how to meditate, visualize and trust my intuition.

• I learned it’s OK to feel my feelings.

• I learned how detach in a healthy way from my 9/11 story.

• I learned how to handle emotional triggers and self-regulate.

• I learned how to ground and stay connected to my body.

• I learned how to feel safe in my own body.

• I learned how to listen to my body.

• I learned I’m not responsible for anyone else’s feelings.

• I learned it’s OK to say NO to others and honor my needs first.

• I became aware of how negative emotions, feelings and thoughts influence the subconscious mind, body, relationships and everyday life.

• I learned how to release negative, thoughts, beliefs, patterns and imprints.

• I experienced freedom in releasing, shame, grief and anger.

• I reintegrated the lost parts of myself.

• I experienced the power of the breath and the profound effects proper breathing has on my physical and emotional health.

• I experienced the power of presence in community.

• I experienced the feeling of unconditional love in community.

• I experienced being seen and heard without judgement.

• I learned having breakdowns are OK (though it feels crappy) but it means on the flip side is an exciting breakthrough.

• I learned how incredibly resilient I am. 

• I found forgiveness – for myself and others.

• I learned to love and accept myself.

• I became whole again.

My messy spiritual awakening began on 9/11. I have transformed and you can too – it’s been 18 years of commitment, dedication, self-discovery, learning, grit and the fortitude to never give up. I refused to back down and allow the experience from 9/11 control my emotions, health or my life. I know what it takes and that’s why I created this retreat.

When you’re ready – anything is possible.